For years I struggled like that. I was bored with things. I was bored with myself. I was beating my brains out saying “Why don’t I love something? What is missing?” And my conclusion was that I really did have tremendous ambition and aspiration, but I had buried it under layers of fear. I did this as if I ever admitted to myself that I wanted to be excellent at something, that failure at that would be more than I could take.
don’t tell me that this is a temporary problem when I’ve been drowning for years.